I Found Comfort in the Pastures of Another Woman’s Land….
I let the earth beneath this wasted constitution move my bones like it never felt thunder before.
Self-healing warrior well aware of the complications that stood before her, I allowed your indecisiveness to remind me that I could still feel.
Tangled up in webs of ambition, I overlooked hurricanes that brought this land much needed rain.
Drinking up your possibilities like I was born with thirst….like all I ever needed was that comfort.
And just when I felt myself losing faith in opportunity, you pulled me back towards you in the most honest of ways.
Frightened like new beginnings, we took to unused streets unaware of where they would take us.
You moved me like it was in your nature to do so and passion came naturally… like seasons and sonnets and have-it’s and want-it’s.
There was a time, not long ago when the night sky stretched out so clear and quiet above us, it convinced me that maybe I was tolerable and Contrary to what many people believed…..Someone could put up me.
You pointed out constellations and planets on those nights when we were still invincible and I only ever knew where the little dipper was.
Slow to get up in the morning even with your back turned towards me I still wonder why you never saw my better qualities….
Imagine my disappointment when I realized I couldn’t do this anymore.
I asked you to leave this morning because thats what i do when the bright leaves the room.
and I had one life line left and i used it to phone a friend so i could ask him if he thought forever was ever possible with me…
Because Ill be the first to admit that i have a knack for ruining things.
I should have warned you that when i said “forever” i really meant until i didnt feel like making excuses for you anymore.
excuses for why we were no longer a team.
There isn’t a soundtrack when you fall in love…. There isn’t one when it falls apart either.
You said you wanted me happy and i cant remember the last time i felt it with you…
Im assuming it was the night we sat outside and you said youd win an oscar someday… but i think i was so hopped up on this idea that the day they announced your name the camera would pan towards the crowd as you gave me a romantic shout out in your speech and id be there drunk and giggling with meryl streep sitting right next to me!
romantic i said…. now theres something ive never known with you and it’s such a shame…… because your such a saint…. you just cant seem to see anything through.
I remember the first night you stayed….
I considered your heavy breathing the final resting place in my bed bc we woke up in the same position we fell asleep in and i thought it meant home.
But they dont tell you that sometimes that doesnt mean shit in the long run.
I found comfort in the pastures of another woman’s land…..
I wish she would have told me nothing strong grows in them….